


At My Lowest

by WintersLoneWolf



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, based on two edits of mine, coming to terms, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 21:23:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21022484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WintersLoneWolf/pseuds/WintersLoneWolf
Summary: With time, the emotional damage would heal, but the scars will remain…





	At My Lowest

**Author's Note:**

> Video 1 found [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWDAZYeojNo).  
Video 2 found [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZXtXeLGYKY).

Ahsoka wasn’t sure how she had wound up in a bar down in the lower levels of Coruscant, nestled in a booth in a dark corner. What she did know however, was that she had spent several of her meager credits on a drink in the hopes of numbing her emotions. She knew it was a waste, but she couldn’t stop herself. It was done before she processed the action. 

People around her puffed on death sticks, permeating the air with a smoky fog. Others danced and were drinking themselves to excess and, all around, were having a good time, oblivious to the cloaked stranger in the corner. Which was fine, since Ahsoka paid them no heed busy staring at her beverage. A weathered and tired face with red puffy eyes stared back at her in the low lighting. So much has happened to her in the past several days that she tries so hard not to dwell on the thoughts, but it comes back to her in waves of sadness, anger and disbelief. 

She'd been framed by her girlfriend (ex now), renounced the Council’s offer to rejoin the Order over their inability to give up their pride for the right thing. Force, she hated having to leave Anakin behind, but it had to be done in order to get her miserable self sorted out. Now that she’s on her own, all alone once more, she's forced to protect herself from the filth that crawls through the lower levels. She was just another one of many sentient's struggling to make it in this big galaxy. Little do the people around her know that only two days ago, she was the suspected bomber that the media had heavily focused on. 

She can’t believe how blind she was to see that Barriss was deteriorating before her very eyes. Even Barriss' own Master was ignorant to her turmoil. The Mirialan was merely a ticking time bomb waiting for the right time to blow. And blow up she did, sending Ahsoka’s world crumbling with her.

In that instant, all the bad memories come for her in waves. She remembers her whole ordeal in trying to prove her innocence. The fight of her life with whom she thought was Ventress, but no, it was Barriss all along. Fast forward to the trial and the hopelessness that she wasn’t going to make it out alive despite Padme’s dire attempts to prove her innocence. The tense moment of when she’s about to hear the verdict. Anakin coming in at the last minute with the true culprit and it being none other than Barriss. Having to listen to the Mirialans’ speech and standing there in disbelief while Barriss ranted about how far the Jedi had fallen. Then watching Barriss as she’s taken away and catching the burning regret in her eyes, and yet, there was conviction there as well. In that moment, Ahsoka had felt the metaphorical dagger burrow into her chest and rest there as the heartbreak took over.

Tears leak down her face and she crumples in her booth, shaking with uncontrollable sobs as the tidal wave of horrendous memories becomes too much and crashes down on her. She wished from the deepest parts of her being that this was nothing more than a bad dream and that she would wake up back at the Temple, safe and sound. She wouldn’t have to be sitting here losing her fragile control at the love lost between her and Barriss, nor mourning their relationship and everything that went wrong. At the family that she had lost.

Unfortunately, the galaxy and the Force picked her for a sick and twisted game that she never wanted any part of. It would be a long time before she would be able to forgive Barriss for what she had done without falling apart on the spot. With time, the emotional damage would heal, but the scars will remain and Ahsoka will have to live with that truth.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed, don't hesitate to leave a kudos, or comment. They help me know that people are enjoying my material. If you want to see any of my snippets for future content, check out my writing blog. (@winterslonewolf.tumblr.com).


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